You may be faced with situations every day that frustrate you as a parent. These problems may be more common for your teen child but they can also happen with your adult child who may have his/her own children. How can you ensure that these situations don’t cause you to yell and lose control?
Your expectations should be managed during the first encounter you have with your child. Most people have expectations about what they want for their children and others. Parents have expectations of their children, as well as their children’s friends and family. A friend of mine was angry when his son refused to invite him for his grandson’s birthday party a few years ago. He was tempted to phone his son and complain, but he chose to keep it to himself and not to make a big deal of it. He explained to me that he has high blood pressure, and that losing his temper or getting angry could increase his chances of having a stroke. What would your reaction be in a similar situation to his?
Sometimes, the best way to deal with conflict or disagreements is to just say nothing even if you have lots to say. This is what I call strategic engagement. It is important to realize that expectations can be a great thing, but they can cause stress and unhappiness if not managed properly. The stress that results could be a burden on you and others.
When dealing with negative interactions, it is important to not let your expectations get too high. It is important to be sensitive when dealing with children. Their perspective and/or view could be completely different from yours. One way to manage expectations in dealing with others is to reduce them and make them more realistic. Conflicts can be avoided by making your expectations realistic and achievable. This can cause friction and criticism.
It can lead to anger if you don’t pay attention to how you deal with criticisms or misunderstandings within the family. You can reduce this by learning how to not take criticisms personally. Daily criticisms can be one of the most difficult obstacles to overcome because they cause you to feel hurt and emotional disturbances. This can also disrupt your self-esteem and stress you out. Refrain from taking criticisms or disagreements with others as an attack on your integrity or productivity or reliability. Keep in mind that criticism is only an expression of another person’s point of view and protection for their ego.
You may find yourself in a dilemma when it comes to dealing with your children. You can’t control what others do to you. But you can control your reactions to their behavior. This is how to stay happy and unruffled in such situations. This can be done by setting lower expectations about how you interact with others. Expect a negative person not to have a positive outlook on life, or for someone who is grumpy to be friendly towards you. Even if the person you are dealing with is your child, this is true.
By making small adjustments, you can improve your anger management skills in your interactions with children and other people. You will be happier and less stressed if you can do this consistently, even in the most difficult interactions with others. This is part the process of self-mastery. Remember that a single step is all it takes to travel a thousand miles. These tips are my hope for you on your journey to self-mastery, personal growth, and continued success.
